
PITTSBURGH 
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CONTENTS , ''^ 

Page 

Parable of the Thirteenth Son; 3 

Chronicles of the People of Uzz 7 

The Bull and the Red Rag ., ....12 

A Street in Jerusalem J.5 

Short Political Catechism ^ 



Copyright 192^ by 
The Lessing Company 

MAR 25 '24 

©C1A782107 



THE PARABLE OF 
THE THIRTEENTH SON 

A CERTAIN man had thirteen sons. 
Now the stargazers and the soothsayers and 
the wise women declared with a loud voice 
that thirteen was an unlucky number. And they 
prophesied that the thirteenth son would be pursued 
by misfortune, and there would be no place for him 
in the land of his birth. 

But his father said: It is not my fault that my wife 
is a fruitful vine and Mai thus a true prophet. How- 
soever the Lord will provide. 

Then the first son said: I will be a King or whatever 
ye choose to call me. Czar or President or Duke, for 
ye must have some one to rule over ye, and sit upon a 
throne, and give ye ribbons to wear in your button- 
holes. 

Then the second son said: I will be a General, a 
soldier to do your fighting, in case anyone comes tO' 
take away the throne of your king, or saith he is, 
bow-legged and cross-eyed and his crown a misfit. 

Then the third son said: I will be an Admiraf 
and carry the totem of our family to foreign lands,, 
where the natives may behold its glory. Also when 
the King and the General may decide to go to war, I 
will carry them across the seas to kill other families 
and bring home the spoils thereof. 

Then the fourth son said: I will be a Bishop, and 
save all your souls. I will tell ye exactly what God 



PARABLE OF THE THIRTEENTH SON 

wishes ye to do, and I will tell God what rewards 
ye expect. I will bless the crown of the King, and 
the cannon of the General, and the totem of the 
Admiral, so that they will prevail over all their 
enemies who sell goods too cheaply. 

Then the fifth son said: I will be a Senator, and 
will make laws for ye all, so that ye will know what 
ye must do and what ye may not do, how to do it 
and how not to do it, when and wherewith and 
whereinbefore. 

Then the sixth son said: I will be a Lawyer, and 
will tell ye how to elude and circumvent the laws 
made by the Senator. 

Then the seventh son said: I will be a Policeman, 
and arrest ye if ye break the laws of the Senator, 
unless my brother the Lawyer hath taught ye the 
manner thereof. 

Then the eighth son said : I will be a Tax Collector, 
and will make ye to pay revenue when ye buy any- 
thing in another city, and will make ye to pay a 
portion of all ye produce at home, that the King may 
have money to gild his crown, and the General to 
buy powder, and the Admiral to dye his totem, and 
the Bishop to build a temple, and the Senator to 
patch his toga, and the Lawyer to pay his jurymen, 
and the Policeman that he may not require to commit 
burglary, and myself for inspecting, appraising, 
assessing and levying upon ye, and relieving ye of 
your surplus, which would cause ye much worry and 
bring ye into many temptations. 



PARABLE OF THE THIRTEENTH SON 

Then the ninth son said: I will be a Banker, and 
will guard your money when ye do not need it, and 
will lend it to you at interest when ye do need it. 

Then the tenth son said: I will be a Salesman and 
Advertising Expert, to cause ye to buy what ye do 
not require, to persuade ye to buy more than ye 
require, to keep ye from buying better and cheaper 
substitutes, and to flatter ye for the taste displayed in 
buying the goods that I sell. 

Then the eleventh son said: I will be a Movie 
Actor, and will look handsome, and will drink cham- 
pagne, and will have seven wives, and will never need 
to think, and will get a million dollars a year to 
keep all other people from thinking. 

Then the twelfth son said: I will be an Editor, 
to tell ye all about the Movie Actor's divorces, and 
the excellence of the motor cars the Salesman sells, 
and the Banker's philanthropy, and the Tax Col- 
lector's patriotic function, and the Policeman's majesty, 
and the Lawyer's eloquence, and the Senator's wisdom, 
and the Bishop's holiness, and how many ships the 
Admiral hath sunk, and how many cities the General 
hath burnt, and why ye must hate the people in those 
ships and cities, because your King is greater than 
their King, and your Totem more beautiful than their 
Totem, and your Bishop's God more sublime than 
their Bishop's God. And I will explain how all this 
hath come to pass, which is Civilization. 

Then the thirteenth son said: I know not what I 
shall do. For I am the thirteenth son. And the 



PARABLE OF THE THIRTEENTH SON 

stargazers and soothsayers and wise women have de- 
clared that thirteen is an unfortunate number. 

TTien his brothers of one accord said unto him: Be 
of good cheer, for thou art our brother, and we will 
find thee something to do. The King needeth some- 
one to keep his crown polished, and the General cannot 
make his own cannon. Thou mayest build a Dread- 
naught for the Admiral and a Cathedral for the 
Bishop. Thou must vote for the Senator, and thou 
shalt make the cloth of the Lawyer's coat. The 
Policeman requireth thee to exercise his right arm, and 
the Tax Collector must assess some one who cannot 
dodge him or secure exemption. The Banker needeth 
thee for a depositor, and the Salesman cannot sell 
anything unless thou producest it. The Movie Actor 
must have somebody to gaze upon him; the Exlitor 
somebody to believe the words of his pen. All of them 
must be fed; thou shalt furnish the food. All of 
them must be housed ; thou shalt build the homes. All 
of them must be warmed; thou shalt dig the coal. 
Thus, verily, thou dost not live in vain, even though 
thou art the thirteenth son! 

Whereupon the thirteenth son rejoiced greatly that 
the curse was lifted, and that there was a place even 
for him in the land of his birth, where he might 
partake in the blessings of civilization and enjoy the 
luxury of labor. And to this day the Thirteenth Son 
dwelleth among us, and he knoweth that the prophecy 
of the stargazers and soothsayers and wise women 
was an idle superstition, and he is glad that he liveth. 

6 



CHRONICLES OF 
THE PEOPLE OF UZZ 

BEHOLD, there was a nation which dwelt in 
a fair land, a lauid blessed with much abundance, 
with fertile valleys and mountains rich in gold 
and silver, iron and copper. And this nation had be- 
come great among the nations of the earth, by the 
diligence of its people, who tilled their fields and 
tended their vineyards, delved in the mines and toiled 
in the factories, so that every one had food to eat 
and fine garments to wear and a pleasant abode to 
dwell. 

Now after a time, because the people were so 
diligent and the land so fertile, and because the people 
were also ingenious and found ways to lessen their 
labor, the products of that land became more and 
more abundant. Then arose one of the tribes and 
said: **It is not necessary to labor as long as the 
people in this land have been laboring, for we have 
produced a surplus. Therefore we, the tribe of 
traders, will cease from producing, for the others can 
produce enough to provide for us, and even more 
than that, which we can carry to foreign countries 
and exchange for the produce of those lands across 
the sea.'* And they did accordingly. 

So after a time the people of that land were still 
laboring as diligently as they had been laboring afore- 
time, and the traders did wax fat and prosper, and 
got the people to build them many ships in which to 
carry to foreign parts the surplus products for sale. 
And these ships did fly in every harbor of every 



CHRONICLES OF THE PEOPLE OF UZZ 

ocean the flag of that people, and the traders said: 
"Verily, we are a mighty people, for all the nations 
of the world buy from us, and our people are so 
diligent that we can sell cheaply and abundantly. 
Indeed, if we were not wise in our generation and 
made the prices higher in our own land, our own people 
would buy so many of these things themselves that 
there would be much less to export. But our own 
people, having what they desire, would then labor 
less, and there would be still less to export, which 
would be a sore blow to the prosperity of all traders, 
wherefore we permit it not to come to pass.** 

And they paid scribes to write proverbs and 
prophecies, to explain to the people how good it was 
to pay high prices at home and sell much goods 
abroad, because if you must pay high prices you must 
receive high wages, and it is better to pay ten 
shekels for one ham than to receive ten hams for 
one shekel, because shekels are better than hams, and 
there are nine hams left to sell abroad for the profit 
of the traders, so that the flag of the people can fly 
in the harbor of every ocean. For know ye not, 
said the scribes and prophets, that your flag flying in 
Hong Kong is better than ham frying in Oshkosh? 
And the people were comforted, and labored more 
diligently to build more ships and make more flags 
for the traders. 

Now after a time the traders of other nations be- 
came equally eager to sell the surplus of the fields 
and mines of their people, and the traders of one land 



CHRONICLES OF THE PEOPLE OF UZZ 

became wroth with the traders of the other land. So 
they spat upon each other's flags. 

Then the traders of the great nation went home 
and declared through the scribes and the prophets 
unto all the people: *'Lo, your holy flag has been spat 
upon by infidels. Will ye suffer this? If ye do not 
avenge this insult, we cannot sell them any more 
of the surplus ye produce. Then will ye starve, and 
your children will starve likewise, and the goods ye 
produce will rot upon the docks, unless ye take swords 
and slay these infidels who have spat upon your holy 
flag. If ye slay them without mercy, they will honor 
your flag and permit us to sell the wares ye produce 
as aforetime.*' 

Then the chiefs of the people, who had been 
chosen from among the scribes and prophets, said 
unto the people: *'It is for this that we have taken 
every tenth man of you and set him aside and given 
him a sword. And it is for this that ye have had to 
labor every tenth day for nothing in order to feed 
and clothe the soldiers with swords. And it is for 
this that we have taken every seventh man of you to 
build ships of war, and to cast cannon, and to 
become sailors and soldiers of the sea. And it is 
for this that ye have had to labor every seventh day 
for nothing in order to feed and clothe the men of 
your ships of war. Now will we go forth with your 
army and your ships of war, and with swords and 
cannon will we cause them to honor our flag and 
to purchase abundantly of our merchandise." 



CHRONICLES OF THE PEOPLE OF UZZ 

Then the drums beat, and the flags waved, and 
the soldiers marched, and the ships sailed. 

And when the army came to foreign parts, the 
infidels smote the army, and not one man escaped. 

And when the ships of war came to foreign harbors, 
the infidels sank the ships, and all the men thereon 
were drowned, and even the holy flags were sub- 
merged beneath the waves of the ocean. 

And the chiefs of the people, who had gone with 
the army and the ships of war, were also slain and 
drowned and did not return. 

Whereat there was great wailing and mourning in 
the land. 

But on the tenth day one of the people said: *'Lo, 
we have not this army any longer to feed and clothe, 
and now we can labor for ourselves, or make holiday 
and sit in the sim." 

And on the seventh day one of the people said: 
**Lx), we have not these ships any longer to keep in 
repair, nor the sailors and soldiers of them to feed 
and clothe, and now we can labor for ourselves, or 
make holiday and sit in the sun." 

But the traders said: "Fools, ye produce much 
merchandise — garments, and jewels, and foods, and 
plows, and watches, and pianos, and shoes, and books. 
Where will ye sell this merchandise now? And who 
will be your chiefs? And how shall the stain be 
purged from your flags, which have been spat upon 
by the infidel?'* 

10 



CHRONICLES OF THE PEOPLE OF UZZ 

Then one of the people said: "Upon the tenth 
day and upon the seventh day we will ourselves enjoy 
the abundance of merchandise we produce — the gar- 
ments and jewels and foods we will keep for ourselves, 
and the plows shall furrow our own fields, and the 
watches shall tell us the time of day, and the pianos 
shall adorn our own parlors, and the shoes we shall 
dance in, and the books shall be read by us to make 
us wiser than we were. For we were sorely lacking 
in wisdom that we fed and clothed an idle army 
and built useless ships, in order that ye might sell 
to other nations the things we lacked ourselves. As 
for our chiefs, whose main business was to invent new 
taxes for us to pay and new crimes for us to fall into, 
we are glad we are rid of them. As for our flags, 
which the infidels have spat upon, ye traders, having 
no longer anything to do, may sit in the market place 
all day long and spit upon the flags of the infidels, 
and thus shall we be revenged." 

Even thus it came to pass. And the nation grew 
greater and happier than it had been before. And 
every year, upon the day when their army and ships 
of war were completely destroyed, and they could no 
longer send abroad their merchandise for other people 
to use, upon that day they make holiday and rejoice 
greatly. It is called the day of liberation and the 
beginning of abundance. And that people is the 
wisest and the happiest and the most blessed of all 
peoples in the world. 



11 



THE PARABLE OF 
THE BULL AND THE RED RAG 

IN the land of the Boobs there dwelt aforetime a 
wise man who had some foolish nephews. And 
when he heard how foolish the sons of his brother 
were, he was moved to teach them wisdom. So he 
went unto their abode and said: Come with me, O 
ye sons of folly, and we shall learn many things. 

Then he went with them unto a place where there 
were thousands of sheep. And these sheep marched 
past in a long file, each following after the other, 
thousands of them. 

And the wise man said: What think ye of these 
sheep? They are going to the butcher. He will 
cut their throats, and they will be mutton. Yet they 
march meekly onward toward the axe. 

Then said the wise man's nephews: Forsooth, tliey 
are foolish sheep and know no better than to follow 
one after the other. They deserve to have their 
throats cut for their folly. 

But the wise man said: Have ye not gone into 
the king's army, and will ye not go to war just as 
these sheep are going to the slaughter-house? Will 
ye not follow after the fool that walketh before ye? 
Wherein, then, are ye wiser than the poor sheep? 
Wise men stand alone, or go their own way. Mutton 
men walk in parades, like unto the sheep or the goose, 
which animals they despise. 



12 



PARABLE OF THE BULL AND THE RED RAG 

Next the wise man took his nephews unto a Bull 
Ring, where a great multitude was assembled to see 
the bulls fight. And they saw how the bulls became 
enraged when the bull-fighters waved a red flag. With 
great fury the bulls charged upon the waving of the 
flag, and when their fury had made them blind the 
bulls were killed. 

And the wise man said: What think ye of these 
bulls? A square of red cloth enrages them so they 
go unheedingly into death. What think ye of them? 

Then said the wise man's nephews: Forsooth, they 
are stupid beasts, and have not the gift of reason as 
we have. Therefore they become enraged when a 
red rag is waved, and rush blindly to fight. They 
deserve to be made carrion for their stupidity. 

But the wise man said: Will not ye rush into fight 
blindly even so when a square of colored cloth is 
waved before ye? The bull is enraged by the red 
alone, but ye are roused to fury by the white and the 
blue also. There is but little difference in color sense 
between ye and that mad bull. Mayhap the bull 
thinketh ye are stupid beasts for rushing into battle 
for colors that are not red. 

Then the wise man's nephews said unto each other: 
This our uncle thinketh he is wise, but he is exceeding 
foolish. We will report his sayings to the king, 
and the king will teach him wisdom. And they did 
even so, and the king cast the wise man into prison 
for speaking treason. But his nephews he honored 
for their loyalty, and put them in the front rank of 



13 



PARABLE OF THE BULL AND THE RED RAG 

his army, and they were great heroes, and they fell 
on the field of glory, and their graves wherein they 
rest are adorned with tombstones of fine marble. 

But the wise man in prison wrote a book on **The 
Cure of Folly.'* And when his book was opened 
by the keeper of the library, all the pages thereof^ 
were blank and void. 

And the merchants of mutton, the makers of flags, 
the owners of the bull-ring, the carvers of tombstones, 
and other tradesmen and artisans rejoiced greatly, and 
said: Woe unto the prophet, but hail unto the profit! 
What is meet for the sheep and the bull, is meat 
for us! There is magicd potency in color, especially 
in the yellow of gold and the green of banknotes. 
Great is Allah, who hath created for us the bulls, 
and the sheep, and the sons of the wise man's brother. 



14 



A STREET IN JERUSALEM 

THEY had moved along sedately, their bearded 
heads wagging in gleeful animation, until they 
came to the House of the High Priest. There 
they stopped, to say whatever was left to say, before 
departing to their several abodes. A young woman, 
comely to look upon, had followed a short stone's 
throw behind them, and now she came a little nearer, 
bending her ear to listen. 

"It is a good work we have done," declared the lean 
Pharisee, with a grating laugh. **It will teach these 
alien agitators a lesson they should have been taught 
long ago. They come here from rebellious Galilee, 
from idolatrous Samaria, and other barbaric regions, 
to find fault with our sacred institutions. If Zion 
pleases them not, they should go back whence they 
came. Some of you have cried out to expel them; 
some of you thought we could make them like unto 
us by compelling them to learn our language and adopt 
our customs. Both proposals are futile, as our experi- 
ence during the past months has shown. One way 
alone there is to deal with them — as we have dealt 
with this fellow. His ragged crew will take warning 
at his cross. We are rid of the whole undesirable 
rabble, and incidentally we have shown the Roman 
governor our loyalty to Caesar, may he break his 
accursed neck!'* 

**It was a splendid thought," said the fat Scribe,, 
**to dwell upon the fellow's pretensions to royal lineage. 



15 



A STREET IN JERUSALEM 

Perhaps he really believed that God had given him 
power over all races and peoples. He may have been 
mad. But such madmen are dangerous; they must 
be muzzled. Verily, I believe that the mouths of 
prophets should be permitted to prophesy, but when 
any mouth utters such prophecies as he spouted forth, 
standing upon whatever he could find at any cross- 
road, then, in the name of Law and Religion, he 
must be silenced. Such things might be permitted in 
the days of Amos, but nowadays we cannot have 
discontent fanned into disorder by pestilent breeders 
of strife. A king, forsooth, to reign over all king- 
doms! Our holy nation, to him, was no better than 
any other nation, though Jehovah had chosen it and 
set it apart as his own. This leveler would make 
of us one nation with other nations, and would rule 
over all. Treason and blasphemy! Would God 
choose one of those unkempt wanderers, preachers of 
sedition, who could not make a living in their own 
land, who come down to Jerusalem, the city of God, 
to enjoy our liberty and to partake of our prosperity — 
would God choose such a one and set him to rule 
over us?" 

* 'These discontented fellows are both cunning and 
desperate,** now spake the High Priest. **My loyal 
spies have kept me well informed of their activities. 
They have held many secret meetings where they ate 
food in common while plotting mischief and abomina- 
tions. Their public gatherings could be forbidden by 
*the magistrates or broken up by soldiers of the legion. 



16 



A STREET IN JERUSALEM 

for the power of God resides in magistrates and 
soldiers. But these clandestine assemblages in upper 
rooms, or out on the hills, it is very difficult to root 
out. That mad fellow on the cross had a manner 
of speaking as if he spoke the truth, which caused 
the multitude to follow him and listen eagerly to 
his absurd theories. Have you heard that story he 
told about some laborers in a vineyard? What, you 
do not know that foolish tale? How those who came 
in the last hour should receive the same hire as those 
who have toiled and sweated all day? Such tales 
would make all the workers in our vineyards shirk 
and grumble. They would band together, scowl and 
murmur, and refuse to labor the full number of 
hours. The greatness and the glory of Jerusalem 
the Golden rest upon the glad obedience of our 
workers, and whoever undermines their spirit of willing 
service is an enemy of the people." 

"And of God,*' echoed the Pharisee. **But this 
pestilent fellow was not content with sowing seeds 
of idleness in our workers* hearts, by telling them to 
take no thought for the morrow. If that were all, 
it might have been endured. There are indeed more 
laborers than enough, if all work faithfully the entire 
day. If any toiler leaves the post where God has 
placed him, throws down the tools God has put into his 
hands, there may be a needier one to take his place for 
smaller hire; and by hiring this needier one for the 
work we are indeed doing a deed of charity, and 
gain more treasure to bring tithes into the Temple, 



17 



A STREET IN JERUSALEM 

and to reward the magistrate who punishes the lazy 
drone that left the vineyard. But that disturber, 
whose mouth we stopped none too soon, preached 
against the rich and the respectable; he told the 
rabble that such as these would be cast into hell-fire 
unless they sold all they had and gave it to the poor.*' 

*'He was a smooth demagogue," hissed the Scribe. 
*'He preached non-resistance, a most insidious doctrine 
in what it leads to. Turning the other cheek if some 
one smites us — ^what would become of Rome's legions 
if that damnable doctrine were instilled in the hearts 
of the soldiers? It is not even expedient to teach 
unto soldiers the commandment of Moses, 'Thou 
shalt not kill!' without explaining to them that it 
does not apply to soldiers. Whoever undermines 
the discipline of the army, whoever teaches young men 
that the soldier's calling is idleness when it is not 
murder, murder when it is not idleness, such an one 
is striking at the very root and foundation of social 
order. What if the peasants were to rise up and 
say, 'We will send no more good food to Jerusalem 
for their bad laws?' how could we rebuke them, 
how teach them their duty in the sight of God, without 
the sword as a symbol of His wrath?" 

"The peasants haven't that much sense," said the 
High Priest with a laugh. "But men who teach 
such doctrines of destruction must be themselves 
destroyed. This fellow's pretense of meekness, after 
all, was merely a sham. You have not heard how he 
drove some of our wealthy tradesmen out of the 



18 



A STREET IN JERUSALEM 

Temple with a scourge, and overturned their tables) 
It may be that there was some slight reason for 
complaint against those tradesmen, who were demand- 
ing ever greater gains for their wares. But if citizens 
of Jerusalem, not outsiders, had complained to me 
in a spirit of due docility, I should have seen what 
remedy might be devised. It may be that those 
tradesmen, each striving to sell most, made much chat- 
ter and clatter by unseemly chaffering in the holy place. 
But there is a tribunal before which complaints can 
be brought; there is an orderly procedure of law which 
must be followed; and whoever takes the law into 
his own hands, whoever commits violence, becomes 
himself a law-breaker greater than those he would 
chastise. This incident, which you may not have 
heard, shows that the fellow on the cross was really 
a menace to our city*s peace, and seized every oppor- 
tunity to interfere with the business of our merchants, 
who pay tithes liberally. Besides, one of my loyal 
spies reported to me that he counseled his followers 
to sell their cloaks and buy swords, and he often 
talked of destroying the Temple itself and rebuilding 
it in three days." 

"Destroy the Temple?" 

"Rebuild it in three days?" 

"Merely another of his mad sayings. Our laws, 
which have stood the t^t of ages, he would supersede 
by a new law. Our wisdom, which a thousand rab- 
bins have received from on high, he would confuse 
with his feeble folly. Our constituted authorities he 



19 



A STREET IN JERUSALEM 

would ignore, and proclaim himself king. Would he 
set his babble of righteousness above our ancient and 
holy religion? Our investigation showed what the 
fellow really was; it made clear the full menace of 
his teaching, and proved he was a propagandist of 
the most dangerous type. We are indeed well rid 
of him!" 

"Even so, well rid of him! We would be well 
rid of all these meddling strangers from Nazareth, 
and Galilee, and Samaria!" 

"Verily, rid of him at last, and rid of him for 
good!" 

The young woman, who had stopped some twenty 
paces away, had come closer and listened to most of 
their discourse. Now, as they were departing, each 
toward his home, she came into their midst. 

**Ye are wise and holy men," she said gently; 
**may an humble handmaiden speak a word with 
you?" 

"The street is not a place for petitions," answered 
the High Priest — not unkindly, for she was young and 
comely. 

"No petition do I bear," she replied; "craving 
neither alms nor justice I stand before you." 

"Then, daughter, what wouldst thou?" 

"I would explain to you what he really meant of 
whom you have been speaking — and would bear 
witness what he did for me, a sinner and an outcast. 
I would tell you who he really was." 

20 



A STREET IN JERUSALEM 

"Daughter, get thee home! We know too well 
what he was. A foreigner who came among us to 
stir up trouble. Born in a stable, an ordinary work- 
ingman without any schooling to give him wisdom, 
he took delight in causing a sensation and imposing 
upon the credulity of fisher folk and gullible peasants. 
A fellow without a home, without regular work, with- 
out a purpose in life but to hear himself talk! Such 
people are harmless until they secure a crowd of 
rebellious followers who believe in them and whose 
applause incites them to ever greater folly. Then the 
righteous men whom God has blessed with authority 
and riches must act to protect themselves against 
violence and robbery, which would become common 
if such fellows are permitted to wag their loose 
tongues." 

"Know you not his parentage is divine — that his 
kingdom will endure forever — that he is the Prince 
of Peace?'' 

"Prince of Peace!" sneered the Scribe. "More 
of his insidious doctrine to corrupt the strength of 
our armies. Our God is a man of war; through 
war he hath given us Canaan for our inheritance. 
Yet these dreamers rail against war! Have not all 
our wars been righteous wars, since our God granted 
us the victory? Do not prate of blessed peace, when 
gainful trade rusts, and valor decays, and the common 
people, having nought else to do, breed civil strife. 
Is it not better they should hate and kill those of 
another nation, than to cause murmuring and tumult 

21 



A STREET IN JERUSALEM 

jit home against their rulers? If the common people 
/have too much peace, they do not appreciate its 
blessings. If they have no foreign enemies to hate» 
they will hate us who sit over them.** 

*'He commanded us to love, not to hate. He told 
us of a surety that — *' 

**His boasts have all come to naught — his career 
has ended in shame and torture — his followers are 
scared and scattered — his seditious teachings will be 
disseminated no longer. What a man owneth will 
still be secure; the Law that has endured a thousand 
years will not be annulled by the frothings of a 
foreigner; the Wise shall still sit in the seats of the 
mighty, and the sword shall uphold the councils of 
wisdom. If you were one of that fellow's misguided 
followers, damsel, get to your home! He has failed 
— he hangs upon the cross, and his silly words are 
choked in blood." 

A captain of the guard came running toward them 
from the east. 

* 'Something has happened," he cried out to the 
High Priest. *'The great curtain of the Temple has 
been torn.*' 

"This is a plot of revenge," ground out the Scribe. 
**Some of those foreign curs have done this.'* 

**I know not whether my body trembles with anger/* 
declared the Pharisee, **or whether the solid earth 
beneath my feet shakes with a fever.*' 

"TTie curtain of your mysteries is rent," the young 
woman cried; **and they are mysterious no longer. 



A STREET IN JERUSALEM 

The sinner can see as clearly as you of the SanhedricL- 
Your solid earth is rocking under your sandals; all 
you deemed firm and stablished upon a rock shall 
pass away! Ye have not slain him, because he is 
the Life. Ye have not silenced him, because he is 
the Law. Ye have not buried him, because he is the 
Truth." 

"Hear her!" exclaimed the High Priest. "We'll 
have to crucify still more of the mad dogs. We'll 
have to throw still more of them into dungeons. Their 
damnable doctrine must be stamped out; these ene- 
mies of society must be extirpated. The lax and 
lenient Sadducees would merely expel them — that k 
not effective ! You, worthy Scribe, would but suppress 
their writings — that, too, is a makeshift. There is 
only one cure for such fermenters of misrule — to 
stamp them out! Stamp them out!" 

"By stamping upon fire you do but scatter it," 
remonstrated the young woman. "That is the folly 
of fools!" 

"I pity thee, O misguided daughter," rejoined the 
Priest, as he entered his palace. "Go, before you arc 
seized as an accomplice of that alien agitator, that 
stirrer of discontent, that reviler of our ancient customs, 
that enemy of morals and religion, of law and order, 
of Caesar and God! Go, get you hence! Your 
prophet is done for!" 

The door of the High Priest's palace closed behind' 
him. 



23 



A STREET IN JERUSALEM 

**Yea, he is done for, daughter!'* echoed the Phari- 
see. **We shall hear of him no more. Get you 
home!** And he gat him home, rubbing his lean 
paws gleefully. 

"Done for, indeed!** declared the Scribe. "And 
his nefarious doctrine has been stcimped out. His 
world dominion has come to naught. We shaJl 
hear of him no more! Thus perish all the foes 
of law and order, of piety and patriotism. Thus 
be it done to all the enemies of God and man.** 

And the Scribe proceeded on his way. 

The young woman stood in the street alone, her 
eyes shining. 

"Nevertheless,** she said, "I will go and see where 
they have buried him. The earth trembles. I will 
go out among the tombs and wait until the sunrise.** 



24 



A SHORT POUTICAL CATECHISM 

EVERY year comes a time when the Candidate 
is afield, gunning for the imwary Voter. Politi- 
cians know that the first plausible person who 
asks a citizen to vote for him will very likely secure 
that man's promise. This is the fatal flaw in our 
politics. We should promise no man our vote until we 
know what other men are going to run for the office; 
we should promise no man our vote unless we know 
where he stands on the issues of the day. Alas, most 
of us do not know where we ourselves stand on the 
issues of the day, and in order to clarify our convic- 
tions and set forth reasons for the faith within us this 
attempt at a short political catechism is presented. 

Of course this Catechism is adapted to present 
conditions and present perils. If it has more of the 
spirit of protest in it than such a document would 
have had ten years ago, that is because during these 
years our Overlords have become much more arrogant, 
their exactions more galling, their legislation more 
iniquitous, than in any previous period of the nation's 
history. Hence we should know what we want, what 
we do not want, and why — and we should inform 
the candidate who seeks our votes just where we 
stand. This Catechism will help us to know it 
for ourselves. 

Question. Why do we oppose all new taxes? 

Answer. Because the people are staggering under 
the burden of present taxes, and business is paralyzed; 



25 



A SHORT POLITICAL CATECHISM 

-when the man of moderate means, after paying his 
taxes, has nothing left to spend on himself and his 
family. 

Q. What should be done with present taxes? 

A. As fast as possible, while meeting all just 
^^ligations of the government, they should be reduced 
or removed, because they are draining the blood of 
industry and fattening a horde of political parasites 
who produce nothing. 

Q. Why do we oppose new bond issues? 

A. Because they tie up money in unproductive 
investments, unless they are for educational purposes; 
because they inflate and depreciate our currency by 
pyramiding debts; because they encourage the waste 
of public money by putting the payment on future 
generations. 

Q. Why do we favor a drastic reduction of army 
and navy? 

A. Because every soldier has to be fed by a 
-worker, and produces nothing himself. Military 
^establishments are a perpetual incitement to war, an 
agency of domestic oppression, a relic of monarchial 
despotism, and put false ideals of glory and honor 
into the minds of impressionable youth. Chiefly they 
are objectionable because of their tremendous waste, 
while they produce nothing except a crop of mediocre 
generals and pompous colonels. 

Q. Why do we favor free speech? 

A. So that we can tell what burdens we bear, 
what wrongs we suffer, what redress we demand. 



26 



A SHORT POLITICAL CATECHISM 

Q. Why should any one oppose free speech? 

A. Because it might tell the truth about him. 

Q. Why do we favor a free press? 

A. Because censorship is stupid; because it is 
essentially an attempt to keep the people ignorant, 
and because free speech without a free press is of 
little avail to spread knowledge among the people,, 
knowledge which is the lifeblood of democracy. 

Q. Why should any one oppose a free press? 

A. Because it might print the truth about him, - 
exposing his incompetence, graft, and abuse of power. 

Q. Why do we favor free assembly? 

A. Because in union there is strength, and free 
speech without free assembly might as well be uttered 
in the wilderness. 

Q. Why should any one oppose free assembly? 

A. Because tyrants know their tenure of power 
depends upon the policy of ** Divide and conquer." 
As long as people cannot get together, they are an 
easy prey to unscrupulous masters. 

Q. Does the Constitution grant the people these 
rights? 

A. It does, but the Constitution was abrogated; 
during the reign of Woodrow I. 

Q. What must the people do? 

A. Demand the full measure of all their rights 
until the Constitution has been restored as the Palla- 
dium of our liberties. 

Q. Why do we oppose tariffs? 

27 



A SHORT POLITICAL CATECHISM 

A. Because they are taxation of the most iniqui- 
tous kind, levied for the protection of robbers. They 
strangle competition and foster monopoly. They com- 
pel the consumer to pay the dividends of the big 
trusts. They levy an invisible tribute upon all who 
buy any article in the tariff schedule. They restrain 
our liberty to buy in the best and cheapest markets. 
They put up the cost of living for all the people, in 
order to increase the profits of a few. They create 
an artificial crime — smuggling — and necessitate the 
€mployment of an army of parasites to collect the 
revenue, people who produce nothing and are main- 
tained out of the labor of those who do produce. 

Q. Why do we oppose subsidies? 

A. Because they take money from all the people 
to insure the profits of a few. Because it is the 
encouragement of waste and inefficiency for the 
government to guarantee any industry against loss, 
and because it is unjust discrimination for the govern- 
ment to guarantee one class of investors unless it 
guarantees all classes of business men against loss 
and the laborer against unemployment. 

Q. Why do we oppose immigration laws, except 
such as exclude paupers and criminals? 

A. Because every immigrant is immediately a 
buyer of American goods and a producer of Ameri- 
can goods for sale; because every one who works 
adds to the wealth of the country; because one human 
being is as good as another, and we believe in equal 
^opportunity for all; because the opposition to immi- 



28 



A SHORT POLITICAL CATECHISM 

gration is based upon selfish grounds by short-sighted 
labor agitators, and upon reHgious and racial hatreds 
unworthy of our democratic ideals. 

Q. Why do we protest against racial discrimina- 
tion? 

A. Because one race has the same rights any 
other race has, and because we should do unto others 
as we would have others do unto us. 

Q. Why do we protest against language discrim- 
ination ? 

A. Because the more languages we know the 
more highly we are educated and civilized; because 
language discrimination puts a premium on ignorance; 
because ignorance is the mother of intolerance; but 
chiefly because every human being has the right to 
use any language he prefers, as he has the right to 
adopt any religion he believes, or to eat any food he 
finds to his taste. 

Q. Has he the right to eat any food he finds 
to his taste? 

A. He has not if that food is in liquid form and 
contains a stimulating element in excess of a virtuous 
minimum. 

Q. How was he deprived of this right? 

A. By adding unto the guarantees of liberty 
in the Constitution one institute of slavery, the 
Eighteenth Amendment. 

Q. Why do we oppose the Eighteenth Amend- 
ment? 



29 



A SHORT POLITICAL CATECHISM 

A, Because it deprives human beings of a natural 
right; because it nullifies other guarantees of the 
Constitution; because it breeds hypocrisy, espionage, 
graft and crime ; because it requires for its enforcement 
a horde of parasites who rapidly degenerate into 
worse grafters; and because it creates a dangerous 
precedent, upon which a hundred other invasions of 
liberty, other agencies of coercion and confiscation, 
can be erected. 

Q. Why do we oppose Blue Laws? 

A. For the same reasons just given, to which 
might be added the fundamental human reason that 
the pursuit of happiness is no crime, and those who 
oppose it are enemies of the human race. 

Q. What immediate steps should be taken to 
promote prosperity, happiness, justice, and fraternity 
in the United States and in the whole world? 

A. We should introduce administrative economy; 
we should repeal all petty legislation; we should 
simplify judicial procedure; we should take effective 
steps to reduce prices of food and clothing, rents and 
public service charges. We should discourage every 
propaganda of hate and prejudice, leveled against any 
race, any religion, any language, any nationality; 
and all such propaganda designed to involve us in 
war — with Mexico, Japan, or any other nation — 
should be branded as criminal folly. We should 
withdraw our soldiers and marines from Haiti, the 
Philippines, or any other quarters of the globe 
where they have no business, and should put them 



30 



A SHORT POLITICAL CATECHISM 

at useful tasks like house-painting or road-building 
in the United States. We should liberate from our 
prisons all men and women who are rotting in dun- 
geons for expressing their opinions or daring to think. 
We should stop talking so much about Americanism, 
and should begin a new chapter of our history that 
will cause other nations to talk about Americanism 
as a desirable ideal. 

Q. Anything else? 

A. The above will suffice for the candidate, who 
will conclude that you know too much, and that he 
can get votes easier somewhere else. 



31 




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